Over the years, we’ve come to understand a tremendous amount about childhood trauma and how those early years affect the trajectory of someone’s life. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are negative events in a child’s life. Not only do these moments impact a person in the moment, but they have long-term health effects (both physical and mental).
Take my situation for instance. For the first 5 years of my life — when 90 percent of the human brain develops — I suffered brutal child abuse. I was abandoned at a psychiatric institution for behavioral problems and violent tendencies. At 6, I was diagnosed as “mentally handicapped.” Doctors believed I had the IQ of a 2.5-year-old and suffered from erratic psychosis.
It wasn’t until my foster parents came onto the scene that I went from a victim to a victor in my own life. Though it wasn’t easy, I was able to turn my life around. Here’s why adversity doesn’t have to be your destiny — I’m living proof of it.
Childhood Trauma in the Past
Let’s look at your adversity in the context of the past, present, and future. By the time you’re an adult, your ACEs have already occurred. Like it or not, they’re part of your past, and you must try to reconcile with this event(s) if you hope to move forward.
Many adults have experienced at least one ACE. Consider what you may be coping with on this list:
- Child abuse — emotional, physical, and/or sexual
- Child neglect — emotional, physical, and/or sexual
- Parent or household mental illness
- Parent or household substance use / alcoholism
- Witnessing domestic violence
- Having a parent or family member in jail
- Parent separation or divorce
- Death of a sibling or parent
Childhood Trauma in the Present
ACEs may occur in the past, but they don’t remain in the past. These events create ongoing stress for children and affect their overall health and well-being into the future. Research shows that exposure to ACEs in childhood can increase the potential for risky behaviors. These behaviors include:
- Teen pregnancy
- Alcoholism
- Smoking
- Misuse of prescription drugs
- Illicit drug use
- Depression
- Heart disease
- Liver disease
- Intimate partner violence
- Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
- Suicide attempts or death by suicide
If you’re an adult who is just now coming to terms with childhood trauma, it can be a complicated and messy process. I began this process as a teen with the help of my foster parents. Without them, I would not be where I am today, and I feel certain more of the above would be factors in my life.
Fortunately, there are a variety of methods you can use to unpack what you’re feeling. A few include journaling your feelings, doing yoga, and attending therapy. Overall, the goal is to restore the balance to the fight or flight response, which works overtime in those who have previously experienced trauma.
Childhood Trauma in the Future
As you consider your past and push beyond your present, consider your future. This is difficult for many people with ACEs as they feel “broken” or “damaged” because of something entirely out of their control as a child.
Furthermore, they may desire to avoid the scenario that hurt them most, a family. If you’re hesitant to take up parenthood because of your past, you’re not alone. Individuals who experienced ACEs report greater parenting stress and irritability.
As a parent myself, I’m here to tell you that nothing should hold you back from this personal joy if you want to take it on. Just like pursuing the career you want, all this path requires is some additional hard work and mindfulness.
“Protective And Compensatory Experiences” — also known as PACEs — are experiences you can add to your life to protect yourself from your past childhood trauma and reduce its impacts.
Here are some examples of PACEs you may consider adding to your life as you consider creating a family:
- Connecting to a community
- Eating regular healthy meals
- Engaging in some type of exercise
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Final Thoughts
Today, I work as a motivational speaker. I divorced my childhood chock-full of ACEs and instead learned how to overcome my adversity, harnessing it into success. If you’re in the middle of the fight against childhood trauma, remember that your current situation doesn’t need to be your final destination. Your “inner me” doesn’t need to be your enemy. Your past doesn’t define your present or future — you can make something of your life starting today.
Do you want to hear more from Derek Clark about his “No Excuse” method for living life? Visit here and book him as a motivational speaker for your next event!
Reserve Derek Clark to speak at your next childhood trauma, trauma informed care, ACE’s, foster care or child welfare conference. Derek is a top conference keynote speaker on childhood trauma and foster care. Visit Here for more information or to hire Derek and make your event the best one yet.
Hire Derek Clark as a Conference Keynote Speaker for Trauma-Informed Care, Early Childhood Development, Mental Health, Childhood Trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences ACEs, Foster Care, Child Abuse Prevention, Child Welfare, Juvenile Justice and School Teachers for Professional Development.
